Working with Jerks

Article by Dr. John E. Kello

For a long time, under the prevailing philosophy of Behaviorism, psychologists widely assumed that you could pretty much condition and reward anyone for “good behavior” and turn that person into a good performer and good team mate. According to the likes of B.F. Skinner and his many followers, if a person did not turn into a great employee, the assumption was the system was at fault; with more enlightened coaching and training, voila! Now you have the ideal coworker, or at least a positive person working near his/her potential.

Now I would not deny that the environment can be and often is a powerful influence on the direction in which a person develops. I studied with students of Skinner and his immediate disciples, and I know how powerful the consequences of actions can be in determining the future likelihood of those actions. The simple principle that “reinforcement strengthens behavior” has always worked. It is one of the great givens of behavioral science. But I would also assert that some of the commonsense concepts that the Behaviorists threw out (concepts such as attitudes, traits, patterns of thought, and most broadly the influence of heredity on our behavior) play a crucial role as well. Our pre-wiring is substantial and sets limits (broad ones to be sure, but limits nonetheless) on how much our experience will affect our “nature”. 

Some people just have a negative, unpleasant “nature”.

A business school professor named Robert Sutton has written a book entitled “The No Asshole Rule”. He asserts that the simplest and most effective way to build teamwork, employee engagement, and all the positive effects that employers are looking for is, first, don’t hire any members of the abovementioned category, and second, if any slip through, quickly get rid of them. The alternative is to consume phenomenal amounts of time dealing with and cleaning up after toxic people, time that could be spent attending to the more affirmative tasks of running and building the business.

Anecdotally, it is widely acknowledged that a few “bad apples” account for an awful lot of the hassle that people at work have to deal with. Sutton is not talking about the occasional conflict or the personality clash where a couple of people just don’t do well with each other but are otherwise OK. He is talking about the toxic individual who sucks the energy, the positivity, the morale out of an organization, the walking “Old Maid Card”.

The targets of Sutton’s treatise may be bullies. They may delight in exerting intimidating influence over others. They may be “gotcha” types who enjoy setting others up and watching them get trapped. They may be individuals who put on one face when the boss is around and quite another in the presence of their subordinates. They may take credit for others’ successes, and shift the blame for their failures. They may make up and/or spread vicious rumors about others. They may demonstrate that they care only about their own self interest. They may be directly or indirectly insulting to others. They may sabotage the efforts of others. And on and on. 

If you are running your own business, Sutton’s prescription makes a great deal of sense. Don’t hire them in the first place, but if you do, get rid of them ASAP. The proviso I would add is that work-jerks don’t always show their true colors so blatantly and overtly, or so quickly. Not many successful candidates come through the door and insult the interviewers. Some look OK at first and for a while, and then show their jerkish true colors over a period of time (sometimes gradually, but sometimes suddenly, especially after promotion into a new role, such as first-line supervisor or newly-tenured professor). Some are skillful at concealing their jerkishness, manipulating the boss and hiding comfortably behind adequate-or-better business results so that the boss doesn’t see that they are a problem. So, even with a heartfelt commitment to Sutton’s rule, some vigilance is required. 

If you are not running your own business, you have less control over who is hired and how problem employees are dealt with. Maybe someone dealt you the Old Maid card and you have to play the hand as best you can. What to do when the coworker is a jerk?

For one thing, be sure you are really dealing with a jerk. First impressions, even powerful ones, can be wrong. We all have a tendency to see behavior as characteristic of the person, what psychologists call the “fundamental attribution error”. We attribute behavior to the person’s disposition, not to the situation. If you have ever been treated rudely by a store clerk or airline gate agent and lost your cool, observers who don’t know you might well consider you a jerk (wrongly, of course). 

So, there may be value in identifying and confronting the behavior early on and constructively. Thus, “Tim, it embarrassed me when you brought up our private conversation about the xyz situation in the staff meeting, so I would appreciate it in the future if...” is a reasonable first step. 

Second, if you are indeed dealing with chronic jerks, minimize dependence on them, and ideally minimize any contact at all with them. This is obviously not always possible, but ideally, don’t work on teams, committees, special projects, etc., that put you in regular contact and/or in an interdependent working relationship with them. The less exposure you have, the less opportunity they have to practice their jerkishness on you, and therefore the less the chance that they infect you and spoil your daily work experience.  

Third, if you are well linked with your boss, it may be productive to have an open, neutral, professional airing of the issue with him or her. In such a scenario, it is important not to come across as a complainer or as someone with an isolated “personal problem” with the jerk in question. There is some risk that the boss may come to see you as the problem. Again, this is a subtle and sensitive matter, but it may help if others in your crew are willing to have the same kind of conversation with the boss. 

The popular 360-degree feedback instruments can be invaluable in this regard. Many organizations use one form or another of the “self-rate, boss-rate, peer-rate, subordinate-rate” measures, sometimes as an occasional leadership-assessment process, sometimes as part of annual performance review. Such data can quickly isolate “you know who” in a way that does not single out “a complainer”. With true work-jerks, a common pattern is they see themselves as fine, and their boss does too, but there is a dramatically different assessment at the peer and subordinate levels.

In sum, in whatever way the offending party is identified, the primary prescription for dealing with a peer-level work-jerk is “search and avoid”. Again, not always easy, and sometimes impossible, but minimizing exposure is a buffer.

To up the ante considerably, how about if the boss is the jerk? Admittedly, life just got a whole lot tougher. It is widely known that the most crucial relationship you have at work is your relationship with your boss. A good boss can make workdays a positive experience, other things equal. A great boss can have a commensurately positive effect on your morale, productivity, commitment, and your future with your organization. That’s the positive side of the coin.

The negative effect of a jerk-boss is at least equally powerful, in the opposite direction. People leave jobs for all kinds of reasons. There may be a better opportunity with another company. A spouse may get a job in another town. They may feel bored or topped out in the current job. They may simply be ready for a change. But the single most common avoidable reason that people voluntarily leave a job is a negative relationship with their immediate supervisor. “I just won’t work under him anymore” is reason #1. Sadly, jerk-bosses are a frequent enough problem in the workplace that there is a growing research literature on working for a jerk, what is being called “abusive supervision”. 

In an earlier newsletter (How to Engage Your Employees) I addressed the currently hot topic of “employee engagement”, and noted that of the 12 items that make up the Gallup survey of employee engagement, a large proportion of them center on the perceived relationship with the immediate supervisor. To the extent I feel positive about my relationship with my supervisor, I am engaged at work. To the extent I don’t, I am disengaged, and therefore more likely to leave.

So, when the boss is a jerk, what to do? Following Sutton’s prescriptions, it may be best to bite the bullet and just leave if you can. Life is short, and a daily dose of a toxic boss is extremely punishing. If you can’t exercise the exit-strategy option and leave, try to limit close contact with the jerk-boss, and be careful what you share with him or her. And keep your own documentation. I am not suggesting that any of this is easy or fun; you are trying to survive with your self-esteem intact.

It is a high-risk strategy to go around the boss and have “the tough conversation” with his/her superiors. Consider it a last resort, the doomsday option. But if the issues are severe enough, it may be the last best hope. Again, some peer support to send the message that it is not “just you” can help greatly. The 360 process can be a lifesaver here! But, I emphasize again, this is a very sensitive process. I don’t mean to imply that it is easy.

The good news is that with or without your personal assistance, many jerk-bosses do de-rail, and ultimately are the source of their own undoing. The celebrated Center for Creative Leadership has done research for years on so-called “executive derailment”, and the predictors they identify essentially describe the jerk-boss: bullying, taking credit for others’ work, throwing tantrums, blaming others, etc., etc. Unfortunately, it sometimes takes a long time before the powers that be in the organization identify the problem and get rid of it. Sometimes it takes the cumulative effect of the interpersonal poison to finally result in poor business performance, and that always gets the attention of the higher-ups! 

In the meantime, social support (combined with a positive outlook) is perhaps the most powerful single antidote to the toxic boss. Talk with family, friends, co-workers. Do not buy into the labels the jerk-boss may put on you. See his/her behavior for what it is. Keep your eyes open, the resume up to date, and continue to do the very best job you can in the role you are in, regardless of the boss problem. A jerk is just a jerk.